Thursday, October 25, 2012

What it's like to live aboard a sailboat (HUMOR?)

Funny photo not related to  (

Lee found the "Liveaboard Simulator" essay on the Web. It made our sides hurt from laughing so hard! To appreciate what it takes to live aboard, read The Liveaboard Simulator (complete essay)

Here are the first few paragraphs:

Just for fun, park your cars in the lot of the convenience store at least 2 blocks from your house. (Make believe the sidewalk is a floating dock between your car and the house. 

Move yourself and your family (if applicable) into 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. Measure the DECK space INSIDE your boat. Make sure the occupied house has no more space, or closet space, or drawer space.

Boats don't have room for beds, as such. Fold your Sealy Posturepedic up against a wall, it won't fit on a boat. Go to a hobby fabric store and buy a foam pad 5' 10" long and 4' wide AND NO MORE THAN 3" THICK. Cut it into a triangle so the little end is only 12" wide. This simulates the foam pad in the V-berth up in the pointy bow of the sailboat. Bring in the kitchen table from the kitchen you're not allowed to use. Put the pad UNDER the table, on the floor, so you can simulate the 3' of headroom over the pad.

(You'll want to read the whole thing!)

That little dohickey to the left of the steering wheel

BEST MOMENT ABOVE at 3:55: "I'm driving the speed limit" and everyone passes him. Compilation from YouTube.

Dear Floridians:

We have driven all over the world: France, U.K., L.A., Boston, D.C., Italy, San Francisco, Calif., even Australia, etc. But we have never seen such a bunch of reckless, fast, inconsiderate, boorish, dangerous drivers in our lives!

You probably won't believe this, but there's a little dohickey on the left side of your steering column that moves up and down. Drivers are taught to use this to signal lane changes, pulling away from the curb, etc. Is the use of the turn signal not taught in Florida "drivers ed" or the driving manual you may pick up at the DMV, or are all drivers in Florida self-taught? 

And the speed limit signs? That's not a suggestion. We routinely see people going 15-20-25 MPH faster than the posted speeds, and posted speeds range from 65 to 70! Those little white signs with the BIG numbers that say SPEED LIMIT. Yeah, those signs!

Examples: We were at a stop light waiting for the green left turn arrow to light up. A guy two lanes to our right crosses our path and turns left in front of us. HELLOOO? Then the guy behind us turns left, also BEFORE our turn. 

We're going to start a driver improvement school. Lee suggests that it be called Driver Improvement and Education, Florida, or DIE, Florida for short. For a good time, check out YouTube's "Stupid car collisions" compilation.